Emotions

The holidays are a wonderful time for family, friends, and fun. But they can also be a time of stress, anxiety, and even grief. If you're feeling anything other than happiness this holiday season, you're not alone. Here's a look at some of the most common emotions people feel during the holidays that bring them down—and how to deal with them.  I have felt each one of these at different times and know how much they can affect your life.  

Anxiety is one of the most common emotions people feel during the holidays. There are a lot of things that can contribute to holiday anxiety: financial stress, family dynamics, unrealistic expectations, and more. If you're feeling anxious this holiday season, there are a few things you can do to ease your mind. 

First, try to set realistic expectations for yourself and your loved ones and communicate your expectations. The holidays don't have to be perfect—in fact, they rarely are. Instead of putting pressure on yourself to create an Instagram-worthy Christmas or host the perfect Thanksgiving dinner, focus on enjoying quality time with your loved ones. 

Second, make a budget and stick to it. This will help you avoid overspending and going into debt—which can add to your anxiety. Make sure you are on the same page with your spouse by communicating and making a plan.

Third, take some time for yourself. Whether it's taking a long walk in the park, getting a massage with essential oils, or simply taking a few minutes to meditate each day, find ways to relax and de-stress. This can be hard when there is so much to be done, but even a few minutes to breathe deeply can make a difference.

The holidays can be especially tough if you've experienced a loss recently. Whether it's the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or something else entirely, grief can put a damper on even the happiest of holidays.  If you're grieving this holiday season, allow yourself to feel all the feels—sadness, anger, loneliness, etc. It's okay not to be okay during the holidays. Loss leaves a hole that cannot be filled.

First, reach out to your support system—whether that's family members, close friends, or a therapist—for help getting through this tough time. And if you need some extra support, there are plenty of grief support groups available both in person and online. Just having someone to express your feelings to can make all the difference. If your grief leads you down too far and you are in need of emergency help, 988 is the new 3 digit National Suicide & Crisis hotline.  You can also use the number: 1-800-273-8225.  

Second, do things that bring up good memories of your lost loved one, or something that will honor their memory.  This can be donating to their favorite charity, making their favorite cookies, or setting out one of their cherished decorations.  Remember the good times.  

Third, think of ways you can bring happiness to others.  Many times, when we step out of our troubles and focus on serving others,  it helps lessen the emotional burden.  We can be a blessing to others who are going through tough times, too.  Call a friend you haven't talked to in a while, take food or supplies to the homeless, or visit your lonely elderly neighbor.  

Like anxiety, stress is common during the holidays. There are many things that can contribute to holiday stress: cooking large meals, hosting out-of-town guests, traveling long distances, attending festive parties—the list goes on and on! If you're feeling stressed this holiday season, there are several things you can do to ease your mind. 

First and foremost: don't try to do it all! Delegate tasks whenever possible so you're not carrying the entire load yourself. 

Reach out for help when you need it! Don't be afraid to ask your family members or friends for assistance with cooking dinner or wrapping presents—they'll likely be happy to help! 

Second. make time for self-care! Whether it's taking a relaxing bath with essential oils before bedtime or squeezing in a workout at the gym (even if it's just 20 minutes), find ways to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. 

Third, remember the reason for the holidays!  Remember that Thanksgiving is all about gratitude and find things daily that you are thankful for.  Remember that Christmas celebrates the birth of our Savior and that He came to save us all.  He came to save YOU because He loves you!  

No matter what emotions you are feeling this holiday season—anxiety, grief, stress—know that you're not alone. There are plenty of people who are feeling exactly what you're feeling—and there are plenty of resources available to help you get through it. From setting realistic expectations to making time for self-care, there are lots of things you can do to ease your mind and enjoy the holiday season despite whatever challenges come your way.

Reach out.  As someone who has acutely felt each of these emotions during the holidays, I know how you feel.  If you'd like to join a supportive group of women learning and working on creating healing homes, and holistic lifestyles, visit us at Holistic Super Moms FaceBook page.  

Need assistance with releasing emotions?  

Can smells trigger trauma?

The short answer: yes.

Can you do something about it?  Yes, again.  

It’s taken me a bit to process what happened a few nights ago.  We were all in bed and it was nearing midnight.  Suddenly my husband and I smelled burning plastic.  We were immediately out of bed searching the house.  Appliances, outlets, the garage, the attic, each room.  We pinpointed the smell in our teenagers’ room and when we turned on the light, it was smoky.  Although I appeared calm on the outside, I was fighting panic and had to grab my Peace & Calming essential oil while I prayed for safety and to find the problem.  We checked everything we thought it could be - the fan/light, anything plugged into an outlet.  I was having flashbacks from my youth that were extremely emotional, but kept my focus on finding the issue. There were no flames.  

With the girls groggily awake, one pointed to the mini camera sitting on the rug next to the outlet (not plugged in).  Sure enough, it was hot, self combusting, and melting into the rug.  We removed it from the house quickly, but there was no way the girls could sleep in there, so we sent them downstairs to sleep.  The smell was so strong, and we were wide awake, on high alert, wanting to make sure we got the true cause.  We kept checking for awhile as we got fans going, blowing the smoke out the window

 Upon returning to our bedroom and feeling like we could finally sleep, my guard went down, and the tears flooded out.  My husband comforted me and I cried out to God for peace and the ability to sleep (and added more Peace & Calming). You see, when I was in high school, my house burned.  We lost pretty much everything, and it was extremely traumatic for our whole family.  I remember it so vividly.  And that smell - that burnt house smell is one I will never forget.  Through an amazing church and community, the Lord blessed our family and we saw many miracles as we worked to rebuild our lives that would never be the same.  As the years passed, I thought I was past the trauma simply because I didn't think of it often.    

Then a few years ago, my sister’s house burned.  That brought up emotions I hadn’t felt in a long time, as I cried for her loss and tried to give what little support I could from far away.  When I went to visit and she took me through her burnt shell of a home, the smell triggered my past trauma, and I felt like melting into a puddle of weeping tears as I was transported back in time seeing flashes of my burnt teenage home - but I couldn’t break down there - it wasn’t my house, and there she was living a nightmare for a second time, this time as a mom, with repeat trauma herself that was much worse than mine.  I consciously stuffed my feelings.  But these kinds of things seem to keep coming back so that we can deal with them.

So this time, as I am still reeling from panic and anxiety, I’ve decided to take the time to process and deal with the trauma triggered by the smell and situation of the other night.  Prayer is always my first go-to, as God is mindful of all of His children.  And combining prayer with essential oils is powerful.  The thing is - I already know how to release trauma and heal emotions as I teach classes on emotional healing with essential oils - but I have not ventured near this specific trauma myself - it was buried deep.  So with this incident as a reminder that I still need healing, I am now open to letting it go through techniques I have used with success in the past for both myself and others.  I am ready to heal. 

Do you have emotions or trauma you have buried deep that you are in need of healing?   Have you been triggered by smells?  

You are not alone.  The sense of smell is the most powerful sense we have and the only one that goes directly to the seat of emotion and memory in our brains.  If you smell baking bread and it takes you back in time to your grandmother's kitchen, that pleasant memory is one of the ways the sense of smell works.  We can see and feel where we were when we smelled that scent, especially if strong emotions were felt at the time.  With trauma, it is not so pleasant. In fact, it can be debilitating for many, who struggle to heal.  

There is hope.  I will share more on overcoming trauma through smell in Part 2.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a common condition in children that often continues into adulthood. If you are the parent of a child struggling with ADHD, it can be overwhelming trying to figure out how to best manage their symptoms. It's even more difficult if you have ADHD and your child has ADHD, too.  The good news is that there are many natural ways you can help your child manage their ADHD (and these work for adults, too!). 

One of the most effective ways of managing ADHD is through diet and supplements. A well-balanced diet as found in "Disease Proof Your Child:  Feeding Your Kids Right" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman, with plenty of plant-based protein, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates can help keep your child’s blood sugar levels stable throughout the day, helping them maintain focus and concentration. Adding specific supplements such as omega-3 fatty acids, B vitamins, and magnesium can also help support the brain as recommended in books like “Healing ADD” by Dr. Daniel Amen. Supporting the gut microbiome with  probiotics, prebiotics, and enzymes is also incredibly beneficial for managing ADHD symptoms naturally.  It is essential to remove dyes, fast food, processed food, refined sugars and refined grains from the home.  (Yes, this means no candy!)

Essential oils have been used for centuries to improve mental clarity and emotional balance. The scents from essential oils move through the olfactory system and go straight to the brain.  For those living with ADHD, diffusing essential oils like vetiver, cedarwood, lavender, peppermint, and frankincense can help immensely with focus, calmness, and sleep while you are healing from the inside out through diet and supplements. These can be applied topically, as well.  Find my "Focus" roller recipe here.  My daughter loves how these oils make a difference for her concentrations levels.  It is best to use these morning and night - breathing for several minutes at a time, and then breathing them during study times.  

Eliminating dyes (especially artificial colors), refined sugar and flour products (like candy bars or white bread), fast food meals or any other processed/junk food from your home will make a huge difference in your child’s behavior and overall health.. Keeping an organized environment with labels on things like drawers and shelves can also be helpful in providing visual cues to help them stay on task throughout the day. Also, establishing a daily routine where expectations stay the same each day helps provide structure so they know what to expect throughout the day which helps alleviate anxiety associated with change or unpredictability.  Finally, lists of daily tasks to be checked off can be very effective to help both parent and child see progress throughout the day.  

 Living with someone who has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder does not have to be overwhelming if you take actionable steps towards managing their symptoms naturally through diet changes, specific supplementation as suggested in the books above, using essential oils, eliminating certain dyes, and avoiding refined sugar/flour products & fast food/junk food meals.  You can keep it under control through keeping a clean organized environment, providing visual cues, and maintaining routines that provide structure and predictability throughout each day.  These things will all contribute towards successfully managing your child's ADHD behavior naturally! Taking these proactive steps may seem daunting but trust me when I say it is worth it! As a holistic mom who deals with ADHD in myself and several of my children daily, I understand how difficult this journey can be but I assure you that these strategies work! Good luck!